Asexuality is not the same thing as celibacy or abstinence, in which a person consciously chooses not to have sex irrespective of their sexual feelings. It also doesn’t mean that a person who is asexual has never had sex or has a low libido (sex drive).
Asexuality describes someone who does not experience sexual attraction regardless of whether they have sex or not. Under the umbrella of asexuality is a broad range of attitudes, experiences, and behaviors, which sociologists describe as the asexual spectrum (or, informally, the “ace spectrum”).
This article explores the asexual spectrum and the diversity of emotions and behaviors that help define it. This includes people who experience non-sexual forms of attraction or who experience sexual attraction only on occasion.
Defining the Asexual Spectrum
Asexuality is comprised of a wide range of attitudes, experiences, and behaviors. The asexual spectrum can be categorized in part by a person’s general feelings about sex, which may be described as:
Sex-negative, in which a person finds sex off-putting or repulsiveSex-neutral, in which a person’s feelings about sex are neither negative nor positiveSex-positive, in which a person believes that sex is a healthy part of the human experience
Although the relationship between asexuality and these attitudes can be difficult to grasp, they can comfortably co-exist.
For instance, a person can identify as asexual yet still be sex-positive if they believe that sex can strengthen an emotional bond between two people. They can also be sex-neutral and engage in sex to please a current or potential partner who is interested in sex.
By contrast, a person who is asexual and sex-negative is less likely to engage in sex. Even so, that doesn’t mean that they don’t. They may masturbate or engage in sex for other reasons, such as wanting to have kids.
Romantic vs. Aromantic in the Asexual Spectrum
Emotional connections are another way to categorize the asexual spectrum—namely, the presence or absence of them.
Broadly speaking, people who identify as asexual can either be:
Romantic: Able to experience emotions characterized by passion, intimacy, and commitmentAromantic: Lacking any interest or desire in romantic relationships
It’s important to note that you can be romantic or aromantic whether you identify as sexual or asexual. Where it differs in the asexual spectrum is in its relationship to sex.
For example, an asexual person who is aromantic is less likely to engage in sex, while a sexual person who is aromantic may have a very active sex life.
A person who is asexual can also forge close emotional connections that don’t involve romance. There may be an intellectual attraction (in which you are drawn to a person’s intelligence) or an aesthetic attraction (in which you are drawn to a person’s appearance) that can be just as compelling as a romantic attraction.
Demisexuality and Graysexuality
People who are less clearly defined by the absence of sexual attraction also fall within the asexual spectrum. These include people who identify as:
Demisexual: A sexual orientation in which a person experiences a romantic attraction only after a deep emotional connection has been made Graysexual: A sexual orientation in which a person is largely asexual but occasionally experiences a sexual attraction
As with all facets of sexuality, it can be hard to draw a clear line between one asexual identity and the next. Scientists at the Kinsey Institute tried to clarify the differences with 22 behaviors they considered characteristics of asexuality, demisexuality, and graysexuality.
They found that people who identified as asexual generally exhibited behaviors classified as “disinterest or disgust.” By contrast, people who identified as demisexual or graysexual were characterized by “emotional connection” behaviors. With that said, demisexual people were more likely to engage in sex (12%) than those who identified as graysexual or asexual (4%).
Another study published in the Journal of Sexual Research concluded that people who identified as demisexual or graysexual were more likely to experience romantic attraction, while asexual people were more likely to be aromantic.
Summary
Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person does not experience sexual attraction to individuals of any gender. A vast range of attitudes, behaviors, and experiences fall on the asexual spectrum.
People who identify as asexual have different attitudes about sex. Some regard sex as a healthy way to forge an emotional bond. Others feel it off-putting and tend to lack any interest in romantic relationships. In between are sex-neutral people who are neither positive nor negative about sex.
Though people who identify as asexual do not experience sexual attraction, they often have sexual desires and even enjoy sex. There are also people who experience sexual attraction only occasionally (graysexuals) and others who form a romantic attraction only after a deep emotional connection has been made (demisexuals).
A Word From Verywell
Asexuality is not a medical condition. It is a sexual orientation in the same way that homosexuality, bisexuality, and pansexuality are.
Though some people consider it “abnormal” to not have sex, a person’s emotional health cannot be measured by how much or how little sex they have. This includes having no sex at all.
The asexual spectrum allows people to explore their sexual orientation without judgment. It allows them to shed labels that may not have matched how they view themselves and embrace asexuality as a healthy component of human sexuality.
