Pull out your lip balm and ask if she wants to use it, saying, “Hey do you want some?”
Let your lips lead and keep the tongue to a minimum (at first). Then follow her lead and try the level of pressure and tongue motion she uses. [4] X Research source When in doubt, ask “How do you like to be kissed?”
Ask open-ended questions that don’t rely on blaming one partner. For instance, you can ask, “What’s missing from our relationship?” or “What can we do to make our relationship better?”
Actively listen to her problems and respond with a statement that acknowledges her feelings. Try saying, “I totally get why you’re frustrated. ”
Give her a compliment to reassure her. Try saying (either before or after a kiss), “Do you know you’re a really good kisser?”
Start a conversation by stating what you’ve observed, “I’ve noticed you turn away when I try to kiss you. ”[9] X Research source State how her actions make you feel, “I feel rejected and worried when you don’t kiss me back. ” Gain insight by asking what’s wrong, “Can you tell me about why you don’t want to kiss me?” Clarify your relationship by saying, “If you were to put a label on it, how do you view our relationship?”
Start a conversation about intimacy in general by asking, “What level of intimacy are you comfortable with? Is it okay if I kiss you?” Clearly ask for consent by posing the question, “Can I kiss you?” Clarify your intentions by saying, “I want you to know that kissing doesn’t have to lead to sex if you don’t want that. ”
Ask your partner, “How do you feel about kissing around other people?”
“Would it be okay if I hugged you or held your hand?” It’s okay to want physical intimacy. If not kissing your partner is a “deal breaker” for you, you might consider ending the relationship. If she seems uncomfortable when you get physically close, like when you put your arm around her or hold her hand, there’s a good chance she won’t be comfortable with you kissing her, either. [13] X Expert Source Eddy BallerDating Coach Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
