Fictosexuality—falling in love with an imaginary figure—is unusual, but it’s an instinct at least as old as the Pygmalion myth in Ovid’s Metamorphoses (first published in 8AD).
Much more recently, the idea made headlines around the world when Akihiko Kondo, a Japanese school administrator in his thirties, married Hatsune Miku, “a turquoise-haired, computer-synthesized pop singer,” in the words of The New York Times. The bride is a Vocaloid—singing software produced by Yamaha—who looks like a 16-year-old girl. She has “performed” at virtual concerts, even opening for Lady Gaga, and appeared in manga and video games.
According to Kondo, he and Miku started dating in 2008. Ten years later, they tied the knot in an unofficial ceremony in Tokyo, which reportedly cost around $17,000. That’s not the only sum Kondo has invested in the relationship. He has a collection of Miku dolls, including a life-size figure he commissioned, and splurged $1,300 on a Gatebox, a holographic device that allowed people to interact with fictional characters. The machine was discontinued during the pandemic, however.
In a New York Times interview published in April this year, Kondo said he was aware that some people might find his passion strange, adding that he knows Miku isn’t a real person. His feelings for her are real, he said, and that’s all that matters. “When we’re together, she makes me smile. In that sense, she’s real.”
Kondo told the newspaper their routine wasn’t much different than that of a traditional couple. They eat, sleep, watch movies and even go on romantic trips together. The relationship with Miku had pulled him out of a deep depression, he said.
According to Amy Pritchett, relationship expert at MyDatingAdviser, the core benefit of fictosexual attraction is that your imaginary partner “can’t fight with you, break up with you, or do undesirable things that real people do.
“In some ways, marrying a made-up character is similar to marrying yourself, as they will never challenge you.”
Newsweek has reached out to Akihiko Kondo for comment.
Below, Pritchett and other dating experts and researchers explore the nature of fictosexual relationships.
What Is Fictosexuality?
“Someone who identifies as fictosexual won’t just have a physical attraction to an online fictional character,” said Aaron Surtees, psychologist and hypnotherapist at City Hypnosis in London.
“They will also fall in love, be infatuated and have deep attachment, for one or more characters in their lifetime,” he told Newsweek.
Fictosexuality should not be confused with fantasy however. “A fantasy is generally a fleeting thought or desire whereas fictosexuality is a more permanent sexual orientation or identity,” said Tatyana Dyachenko, a sex therapist and blogger for adult shop Peaches and Screams.
“Fantasizing about fictional characters is not uncommon even for people that don’t identify as fictosexual,” said sex and relationship adviser Katie Lasson. A good example, she said, is Jessica Rabbit—the red-haired cartoon siren in the 1988 movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
For a 2020 study, researchers at Finland’s University of Jyväskylä analysed 71 online discussion threads about people who have “a strong and lasting feeling of love, infatuation, or desire for a fictional character,” which might also be described as fictoromance or fictophilia.
The researchers pointed to the increasing popularity of the idea in Japan and the U.S., its historical roots and related areas such as fantasy and “celebrity crushes” among adolescents and adults. Some of those discussing the topic online were looking for reassurance that it wasn’t a mental health problem, the study found, or debating whether or not it could be considered a form of asexuality.
The paper’s authors said their own intention was “not to propose fictophilia as a problem or a disorder,” adding that it was “not recognized or proposed as a specific diagnostic condition by the World Health Organization or the American Psychiatric Association.”
The study concluded that fictophiles or fictosexuals don’t generally “confuse fiction and reality” and are often “fully aware of the parasocial nature of their relationships.” However, because fictosexuals can’t interact with their fictional partners in the same way that they would with humans, such relationships “may generate discomfort” in the long term.
In one of the discussions, a participant said: “Knowing that he doesn’t exist is agonizing. It literally makes my heart ache. I hate feeling this way and I hate the fact that I can’t talk to anyone about it because I’m so embarrassed. But I don’t want to let go of him either.”
Common Fictosexual Behaviors
The Finnish study found that fictosexuals engage in various activities that enhance their love for the character, on top of rewatching the movies or replaying the video games in which they appear.
The most common habits are “fantasizing, daydreaming, and making up stories about the character.” It’s also not uncommon for fictosexuals to take comfort in writing fanfiction.
Other activities include drawing, dressing up or even getting a meaningful tattoo. One person quoted in the study said they were getting a tattoo of a quote from a fictional character in order to “carry him forever.”
The paper also discussed other consumer behaviors that people use to symbolize their bond with the character, such as “wearing related clothes or jewelry” or buying merchandise in the form of plush toys or action figures.
“It might seem foolish to spend money and energy on someone who isn’t alive,” said Pritchett. “However, for people with fictosexuality, doing this makes them feel happy, alive and valuable.”
